Women + Self Esteem (discussion)

Ever since 4th grade I have been a very insecure person. A boy told me he was giving me cookies to make me more fat rather then out of nice gesture. Immediately, I was changed (not in a good way). I was consumed of thoughts about how fat I was (because I think that now.) and feeling very insecure in my own skin, thinking everybody was thinking the same thing; I am fat. I wanted to runaway... move away out of Minnesota! I have recently for the past couple of years have started to let go and really confront these insecurities head on. I have been tons of research and been finding some awesome revelations for myself!

The company Dove has done numerous of studies on women + self-esteem in women. They are campaigning for women, for women to feel beautiful in their skin because really it's like an epidemic across the country.  Studies have found that:

•  6 in 10 women stop what they love doing because feel bad about their looks.
• Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (which is up 2% from 2004)
• 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
• More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic.

In the media women are viewed as objects: being a part of a beer bottle for an ad, that is so dehumanizing and we don't realize it, but it is. A photo of a model on the cover of magazines or celebs is saying to all the young girls/women that they should have no pours because the cover girls have this unnatural, unreal flawless skin. Thanks photoshop. As women we try so hard to reach this unreachable height of perfection. Beauty is not just looks.

Now, I can't say that the boy who said what he said to me so many years ago is to blame (he is, but he isn't) because I don't know if now would be the year that all my insecurities would arise, I just don't know. What I do know is that I'll be damned if I don't think for the next 5 years that I am truly ugly and deserve to be alone.

Women are backing away from job opportunities because are feeling so insecure about themselves.

• In the workforce: 60% in 1999, 2011: 58.1% which is down 0.5 from 2010
• In Congress we have 18% filled of women
• In the senate we have 17.9% of the 435 seats filled by women in the U.S House
• Japan is saying their economy will go up 13% with women in the workforce

The actor Bruce Willis last week said himself that women should rule the world and he is about as manly as it gets! There are deeper problems in society and their perception on women. We're bitchy, nagging, stubborn, emotional, but the male is the opposite of all these things: determined, passionate, head strong, compassionate. WHAT? No wonder women are backing out of the workforce even high positions. Yes, we have women in the workforce and Congress, Senate, entertainment business, but are we really aware of it?

Dove did a very clever study where they said to this group of women that they made a patch that is supposed to make you feel differently about yourself, make you feel that you are beautiful. They wore for a certain amount of time and kept a video diary. As each day progressed they said they felt much better about themselves and that they felt beautiful each day no matter the hard circumstances. At the end, the women that was the head of the study said there was nothing in the patch. In other words the patch did nothing at all.

Dove also does these sketches where they will have a women whatever age come in and tell an artist what they think they look like. Before that they will get to know a stranger for a few minutes then they will come in and say what they think that person looks like. The results are incredibly different from when the women describes herself. It is so amazing to see these women realize how beautiful they are.

The YouTube channel SoulPancake has a webseris, What She Said, and it multiple videos on these very issues for women today. About body image, cofidence,  women in power and our purpose, aging and death, to parents and parenting even. But there is a poet, Natalie Patterson , they have in these videos and one of her own and she speaks her spoken word poems that are so inspiring and revealing for me in so many ways. 

When it comes to feeling good in our own skin I think that it is hard for anybody because we feel (and sometimes we do) have these critics in our life; our parents, friends, people at school, teachers. For me a critic can be a complete stranger because I that self conscious and aware.

So, can we put the judgement away? The pressure? Please? And how can we go forward as a society so that women can feel okay with who we are? LOTS OF WORK TO BE DONE!

Discussion

I started to research the profession journalist, reporter, person who captures and documents a story and being well, helpless. Unable to do or change anything in, or on a certain situation. Their job is to tell the story, have the voices and hearts of the people be heard and shown and move on to the next story.

I listened to two Ted Talks from journalists Janine di Giovanni and Giles Duley. Janine is a foreign correspondent who has reported in Bosnia during the Bosnian War and many other wars in; Libya, Congo, Egypt, etc. She has so many horrific stories that she can tell and a couple she tells really stuck out to me. 

She had friend in who lived in Sarajevo, Bosnia. Her friend was on her way to work when she looked up she saw a giant tank moving forward in the streets and crashing down buildings as it came. In her mini skirt she crouched down behind a garbage can and thought to herself, "I feel like I am in Alice and Wonderland. Like I'm sinking into the giant black hole." A long while after that Janine and her same friend were walking down a street and they began seeing these red lawn chairs at least 12,000 that went down the street and looked never ending; as far as the eye could see. The red chairs represented all the people (adults and children) who had been killed in the Bosnian War, at that time so far.

Janine says she knows she can't stop war. Knows that she doesn't work for the U.N., or President to a middle eastern country. You feel for the people and the country, you hear so many stories of lose and utter pain and usually strikes and pain and desire to want to stop the war, but she knows that isn't her job. Her job is report and tell these stories of civilians, happenings of the war Yes, she may feel helpless (she has), but all she knows is that she is "a witness."

Words that have stuck out me and come to my mind listening to her Ted Talk were: delude & witness. I have studied these words and this is what I got:

Delude: 1. to mislead the mind or judgement of: device, trick 2. obsolete a: frustrate,disappoint b: evade, elude

Witness: a person who sees something (such as a crime) happen

Then I looked at the definition for reporter. 
Reporter: a person who writes new stories for a newspaper, magazine, etc., or who tells the news on the radio or television

What I take from these words and from what Janine said is... that as a reporter who decides to cover over sea stories (any stories really) you cannot delude you mind and say, "That when you go over there to that place you can change the people or that country." "That you can change the circumstances of the people's situation." You're simply the witness that see's the things that happen to them and bring their silent, invisible voice's a voice!

As sad as that may sound there is still a silver lining to being a reporter even though we may not be able to change reality. Photojournalist Giles Duley has a inspirational and horrific story, just a little background of Duley first; he used to be a photographer in the fashion industry and music photography, but quit to pursue his interest in documentary photography. In 2011, Duley was in Afghanistan and unknowingly stepped on a improvised explosive device, losing both of his legs and left arm.

Duley at first doubted his work, thought it was over, but then he thought about his story (he became aprat of a story) and about how you can called be disabled, but not be disabled, that he can still work. He is quoted saying, "It (the lose of three limbs) is going to give me greater insight and empathy into people's suffering and hopefully put me in a better position to tell their stories. Because that's all I am, a storyteller." Through his own tragedy Duley has learned that his storytelling has made a difference because he has captured stories of people all around the world and with his stories he can make a difference.

The main thing that draws me to this topic and discussion is I see the acceptance in these two journalists as humans. The acceptance in their life with circumstances and their small ability to change the world, but in a HUGE way they shed light to poverty, war, controversial topics, etc. And it doesn't matter if no one, or nothing brings total attention to the story, or topic because they have done their... duty. Both make a difference in the world through their work and within their work have found peace, aspiration, gratitude, thankfulness, and grace, along with empathy. As do many other journalists I am sure with their work.

Someday I hope to gain that gracefulness in my work and total acceptance in the fact that what I do is enough, but that will probably happen when I'm 60. Ha. I am one to want to bring that voice to the people in the darkest corners of the world and hope in some small way that I did the right thing... I have made a difference. I hope in my work I can bring a light and voice to those who need it and ultimately be a storyteller.

Satire...

I have had fun thinking and discussing this topic. Satire... I honestly had no idea what it was, I thought it was something you did with chicken before you cook it, but that obviously didn't really make sense I thought quickly after. In discussion time it made sense that we are less informed about world news then Europeans because news here is boring! I get why people pay attention to Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart because their funny. They crack jokes and people laugh, they also inform you about news and "worthless" facts while making you laugh.

For me satire is a tool used for comedians to do the one thing that we all want to do... COMPLAIN! But we can't complain and express ourselves the way we want all the time because then people would get mad and controversy would start. But for people like Jon Stewart who uses his own show to use satire on world issues and politics, he could go to town on complaining about our gov't, the people in our gov't, and how our society is because he uses satire = making people laugh = people not caring.

Fake news, or the headlines on Yahoo, Google for this generation is better to them because a) they're technology based and b) we like to get away from the moroseness of the world... we want to laugh and have a good time and not care about stock going up or down, or gas prices.

Now, me personally I don't watch satire. (Well, I do, but I don't.) I watch BBC News, but also World News on CNBC, etc. They [I feel] are bringing the news as it is. They stick to the facts and they know what they're doing. I used to watch CNN, but their discussion shows they would have about a certain case or topic were just too much because it would drag for 5 hours at a time. There was nothing holding me back from flipping the channel at the break. Plus, the discussion always felt one sided no matter how many people brought up a different view.

So, with that said I do think there are certain news show/ channels that need to changed their attempt on making news. I would like to see news channels be like... none denominational when it comes to politics, religion, etc. Because I think that that's where a lot of one sided opinions happen and the corruption of a news channel wanting profit because a certain group of people like to watch it. If we're watching the news why not make it accessible for everyone to watch?

Shows like the Daily Show again [I feel] are are comedic outlets for people at the end of the day. They make you laugh, yes they show and bring a different side of a well talked about topic, but they're entertainment. I believe entertainment is not news... doesn't have the same feel... and shows like World News, the BBC, etc. They do bring news, they inform you of things going on concerning our country, military, companies here in America, certain high globe world events that effect us.

Media Creating Your Own Reality..

The Corporate Media of this generation has become more concerned about how much money they make, then the consumers who are making accounts with their company and, or store. We in the process are making them BILLIONAIRES! We contribute to social media and popular stores like; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Target, etc. everyday. Now there are some positives when it comes to using social media. Sharing photos with family & friends who are long distances away, interacting with people you don't see often, or even letting people know in your life what you're doing. But then there are some poor choices of social media.

People diarrhea all over social media! "He loves me, he loves me not", "we're friends, no we're not friends", "why are you guys, so mean to me?... Bitches", "They're not my friends, now they are." People run their mouths and they don't shut up; people loose their jobs sometimes because they run their mouths about an indecent at work or another co-worker, so head bosses think they can't trust that person who just diarrhea d all over their Facebook account about a situation.

These sites and apps have made us make this persona about ourselves that has us become one person on their site, and through text as well, and another with people. We can't do face to face with people we avoid people at school or in public, but on Facebook, "Oh! Love you sweetie!" It is bizarre to me and I think that these social sites/apps have contributed a lot of this bizarre-o behavior on these sites. They have given us an out when it come to doing life with others. I'm saying I am against Facebook, Twitter, etc. because I use them for purposes of school, extended family, church, etc. But I think these sites have done most of us good.

When we do spew these things these companies keep our data like Snapchat. They keep a copy of the photos we snap and the words we put with our photos.. that is a bit scary to me! I am a very private person in general, so unless I have known you since childhood, or your family, friend... you're not going to know anything about me. So, knowing that these social sites that yes, I do contribute too are taking these private details of my life and possibly are going to try to make a sale off it. It's scary and thinking about how more involved and advanced we are I think that we really need to educate our younger generation!

The elderly generation is not advancing, even some may own an iPhone they still read a newspaper. I saw an older the other day eating his lunch and reading his newspaper. They are fine with how they get their news. Now, we may still subscribe to a magazine like Vogue, People, etc. Which is entertainment news, but mostly our news comes from WCCO, channel 5, Kare 11, and the news channels broadcasted from those networks. We have news on the go too. With apps that we can download on our iPhones, iPads, tablets, etc.

Bottom line, why aren't okay with how we are getting news now? What do we have to keep looking to how much better we can get our news? People seem fine with how they get already today... people have a system that seems to work for them in how they get their news. Most importantly out of anything we need to know how to use our sources and sites for news and media properly because many do not know how, and that's a big problem.

News!

For the 10 Day News Source my news source(s) were E! News and TMZ. These two sources are celebrity gossip news sources, so 24/7, 24 hours a day all the news you get from these sources is about celebrity's like Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Garner, Lady Ga Ga, Lily Allen, Kelly Clarkson, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, The Kardashians, Kayne West, etc. Just to name a few popular celebs who are always in the pop culture news lately. 

I went back and forth each day between E! News and TMZ. Prior with this I was familiar with both E! and TMZ because I admit I am a movie go-er/ TV addict who oddly has my favorite celebs and it's fun for me to hear the news of what's going on in their life, in any in one day about them. Now, I will say the whole concept of people fantasizing about celebs and people hounding them for a picture of whatever is weird, but at the same time I get why people are so into these celebs. 

There are some big differences between these sources and when it comes to how they portray themselves on TV and the web. E! has been around for a long time and they have moved with the times when it comes to the look of their website and it's neat, professional, and very easy to get around on. Being owned by NBC they are able to be on the red carpets at: Golden Globes, Oscars, Emmy's, SAGS, etc. They are the #1 source it's said for celebrity news. They have an office of professionals that get the latest news and have "friends" or "buddies"; basically sources that are somehow webbed into Hollywood and can confirm or not about what is true and what's not, if there is a question at hand on something.

E! has it's own channel and a number of shows that air on the channel. Besides the show E! News they have Fabulist; all about the latest trends, Guiliana & Bill; reality show about E! anchor Guiliana and her husband Bill, Jessie & Eric; reality show about the country singer and football player, & Total Divas; reality show in the lives of WWE Divas. The very popular family Kardashians have multiple shows with E! There are many more shows that are and have been on E!, but it shows how popular E! is.

TMZ on the other hand... gosh, what do I say? It's just so... gross! I swear a 16 year old teenage boy made the website for him and his buddies to jag off and then some dumb person for Warner Bros. thought, "Hey! Lets buy this celeb website!" So, he and his buddies could jag off. 40% of all the celebrity news they have is about some sex scandal or a new sex tape that has just come out and they give these sketchy, "juicy" details. Some of the news they do is based on a true celeb event, but mainly their stuff they get is from directly the streets of Los Angeles.

TMZ has it's own one hour show on FOX 9 here in Minnesota and also in MN has a radio show on mytalk 107.1. TMZ is a much smaller brand name then E! and in the past has been well criticized and has had some legal problems. The TMZ show different, the small staff gets together and discusses with their boss who always has a marker and coffee thermos in hand about the day's list of event in the lives of celebs. They show camera footage if they have it on a story and basically just sarcastically crack jokes at the celebrity's expense.

With all of this said, I these two sources were not the only ones I saw in one day. Yes, I focused on these two sources, but I was able to catch the 5 o'clock news on WCCO and then E! News at 6 o'clock. Then every so often TMZ at 9 o'clock. I would not recommend people to only focus on these sources because they focus on celebrity's not on the weather, or important news that is happening in Minnesota. The news that changes and impacts your life for now here in MN.

Design!

    I don't consider myself to be a good page design or anything like that. With that said, as much of a lack of confidence I had with designing and feeling like what I had done was good, I had so much just fooling around on InDesign and using different tools; learning a few new things that I didn't know this past year using InDesign. Working on Hoofprint has taught me alot about design and how to be better designer.

    When it comes to the technical side of design with font, shapes, size, blocks, color etc. I somewhat space out, but I feel like I have a good grasp on design. I do think design is important when it comes to your page because you want to look at your page and look at it for what...ever? But you want your page to flow, you want the elements to all flow together on the page and have the consumer be able to move down, across your page.

     With design you can make things bold and pop that catch someone's attention. What you may or may not bold, highlight, or extenuate may or may not a person's view on topic. What I have come to learn with learning more on design is that very same thing; what type of font, what you bold, what kind of pictures you include in the blog, and how you use the space on you page, all can determine how someone perceives or thinks of something. You can pull someone to into something or a person can look at the page and flip to the next one because they are not interested in the page and what is has on it.

  

Good Story... Pastor Scott

For this blog I interview my churchs' senior Pastor, Pastor Scott McLauhglin. I have known him for 4 years, my mom works at our church as director of youth ministries, so since then I have been able to get to known him... in depth. I find his story with his faith relateable. He brings some pretty hard points to the table and I think some are answered and others you have to trust.

"I was blessed to grow up in a very Christian family. My parents involved in church and Billy Graham Association, neighborhood Bible Studies. Always praying at the door with my mom before leaving to school. Prayer at the supper table before meals, confirmation, I was an acolyte. Back in the day they had them when they had more retractile services, acolytes would light the candles and you would have acolyte sticks. So, when I was an acolyte which meant you wore these robes and sometimes you would get in trouble for goofing off, but on the chancel on the radeys platform they had a bench where the Pastor would sit there, or Pastors would sit there and, so would acolytes.  That was cool for a young person, to be getting that kind of a privilege. I had a piano teacher and she was always interested in missions and so we would spend a good part of my half hour lesson talking about missions."

Some people may think because people have faith, or are in a religion that restricts them from doing childish, stupid things as a kid, but the truth is... NO IT DOSEN'T!! Pastor Scott shares some silly things he and his buddies did growing up and what his own personal struggles were as a kid growing up.

"Halloween was big for doing a lot of things I am ashamed of, kids going out and feeling our liberty to teepee houses. I proposed marriage in first grade, the teacher went out of the room and I did something I would get in trouble for, so this girl was going to tell, so I said, “Promise not to tell, I’ll marry you.” She moved in third grade so I didn’t have to marry her!"

"I had to take speech class, I didn’t pronounce my r’s and s’s right and that was kind of embarrassing because they took me out of class for that too. So, everyone kind of knew what was going on; felt very self-conscious about that. Reading was my favorite subject. They had a, Great Books, it was called and they just encouraged students to read so called "classics" and so we were able to get out of class with other children that would get together and talk to others about the book you were reading, so that was fun. I liked english... I liked everything in school.”

More down the line Scott went to seminary school and well, he can tell the rest of the story.

“I did a biology majored first. I remember I was standing outside a class, biology class on bottomy and just listening to the instructor teach. I wasn’t even in that class and it just struck me ‘Am I really that interested to get a major in biology?’ I guess I wasn’t; I decided it was just too much work."

"It was seminary in Chicago, the big issue for me was suffering, what’s know as the Odyssey. How can you justify God when there is all this evil in the world? Is there a God? Could there be a God without the evil going on in the world? For me it was a kind of philosophical thing for me. I read a book called ‘After Auschwitz’ written by a Jewish scholar basically dealing with the whole thing of human history. So, I wasn’t an atheist I was just like, 'I have to figure this out. I have too many questions.' The answers that I got didn’t satisfy me and so I did do a lot of searching and questioning and not saying there is a God, not saying there isn’t a God I just need to figure this out for myself. So, I did a lot of reading, ton of reading."

"I had kind of a spiritual experience of experiencing Christ in the room with me and the presence of Christ. I just knew that he was present and I knew he was real, so I got down on my knees and rededicated my life. It’s hard to explain, but it was a grey February afternoon and I came to my apartment and it was Friday, so I was able to take off early from work that day took a nap in my chair. I woke up and there was a light presence and... I just knew."

Scott told me breifly how he went back seminary a while after rededicating his life.

"I think Catherine said, because she knew, in sense I had a call even as a boy to be a missionary, or something. So she suggested, 'Why don’t you take some evening classes at seminary.' In doing that it really I heard again the call to go back into seminary to finish what I started, but I never dreamed I would be back because I had a job, good job, but I didn’t like it. It was business and I hated business, but you know, God gave me favor. Looking back God gave me favor and kept me from getting into all kinds of things. Bottom line God was faithful when I was faithful, so you look back and you see his hand and his province, so he was stirring me and giving me confidence in my whole speech thing because part was standing in front of people from time to time, so God called me out of my insecurities."

Pastor Scott reflects on his first church, a Three Point Perish church, and also reflects on himself, being a Pastor. How well has he done, does he think he has failed in anyway?

"It was a Three Point Perish, so three congregations. I had internships and all that, but that was my first ordained church. Before that I was a helping out at churches in Pasadena and California. It was good, good way to cut my teeth you know, it was demanding physically speaking, and emotionally speaking, and spiritually. You have to go to three Council meetings because you have three congregations and all that, but it was a good to way to wear all hats. I was Youth Pastor, Pasto for everything and sometimes when you get called to like a... if I went to a church like North Heights, where me and Catherine were members there, they put you with one job, and you would do only that job.

"As a Pastor you always feel, I think it’s common, but you feel inadequate, for the calling. That’s probably good in a way because then you're not self-reliant; I think that’s one way to keep us humble and dependent upon the Lord for that. The minute you get proud of something... whatever you may call it your success is not really your success at all as the world defines it, you know 'To God be the glory'. You know glorifying yourself is a huge danger in this line of work. I think I’ve always tried to be open to new things, so I think that’s something I’m happy about, so yeah just being open to new ideas, things. The church has changed a lot during my generation and even this current generation. Some of them good, some of them bad"